Sports Illustrated

Less Is More: It’s Time to End Best-of-Five at the Majors

McSweeney’s

Six-Minute Shipping!

The American Bystander

I’m the Man Jogging With My Shirt Off

Yay, I’m Wasted On A Plane!

Let’s End World Hunger By Gorging Ourselves At This Extravagant Fundraising Banquet

Points In Case

Two Sports-Talkers Talking Sports Talk

Who’s the Ultimate GOAT: Jordan, LeBron, or These Baby Goats Standing on the Backs of People Doing Yoga?

Human Sunbathing Explained to the Aliens

Journal Entries from a Hotmail Survivor

Even Cookie Monster Is Sick Of Accepting Cookies

Alternatives to “NO TIP” on Touchscreen Checkout Machines

A Few of My Favorite Flavor Mixes at the Coke Freestyle Machine

27 Ways to Age without Feeling Good about Yourself

Updated Nascar Rules Explained

How to Bake Humblebrag Pie

Slackjaw

Messages From My Microwave

How To Go Hiking And Clear Your Mind

The Ghost of Walter White Insists That Jesse Expand Their Meth Brand Across Multiple Social Channels But Jesse Lives In Alaska and Sells Little Wooden Boxes On Etsy

An Intervention With My Algorithm

Travel + Leisure Has No Choice but to Bring You the Season’s Best New Travel Destinations

What’s in Your Wallet, Honey Bunny?

Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls, Please Stick To The Introverted And Reclusive Lifestyle That You’re Now Used To After A Few Years Of Covid

The Stages of Understanding My Health Insurance Explained by The Beach Boys Pet Sounds Album

Pinocchio Explains To His Insurance Company That He’s Not Lying About Needing Nose Surgery

The Big Halftime Speech After Your Team Writes A Terrible First Draft

Memento-Style Reminder Tattoos But For Navigating Dirty Dishes

My March Madness Was Freakin’ Insane This Year, And Also A Little Bit Lonely

The Wild West just got a Whole Heck of a Lot Wilder Now that NFTs are in Town

I’m In The Doghouse, And It Could Use Some Refurbishing

Defenestration

This Letter Is Really Signed by the CEO of Your Credit Card Company

#SorryAboutTheLengthOfThisHashtag

Understanding the Solar Power vs. Wind Power vs. Magic Power Debate

Finally, a Streaming Service That Just Lives Your Life for You

A Music Critic Unpacks the Deeper Meaning of “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)” By C+C Music Factory

99 Bottles of Fear on the Wall, 99 Bottles of Fear

The Oral History of FAQ Told by Chatbots

Don’t Look Now, but I Think Those Tapered Jeans 30% off Are Tailing Me

The Higgs Weldon

The Old-Fashioned Way Featured in The Newsletter of Humorous Writing

Lewis and Clark Say 'What Up' From LA

The Big Jewel

Scary Cheap Flights

The Advent of Ranch Dressing as Told by the Rancher

Does My Tempur-Pedic Bed Know Too Much?

Some Lucky Ideas for Making Lucky Charms Luckier

I Went To YouTube Tonight and Didn't Come Back

My Little Fat Has Grown up so Fast! 

The Tusk

If You Like The Dark Web, You’ll Love My Compact Discs

Weekly Humorist

Rules of POLITICS the Board Game

Someecards

Contributor to the internet’s most snarky e-card site